is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
