youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize