I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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