i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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