I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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