Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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