do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
