i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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