it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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