Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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