i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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