it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize