It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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