If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
