All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
