CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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