I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today