Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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