let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.