Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole