Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go

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  (248): u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go http://tfl.nu/kj46
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

  (765): View more from Indiana

  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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  (323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2
  Replies (41) Good night (1633) Bad night (3176)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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  (732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei
  Replies (20) Good night (4643) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.

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  (248): Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll. http://tfl.nu/4l0s
  Replies (14) Good night (5288) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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  (813): yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing http://tfl.nu/tarj
  Replies (71) Good night (12643) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4418) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

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  (530): We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers. http://tfl.nu/jnk6
  Replies (17) Good night (4270) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now

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  (641): just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now http://tfl.nu/052c
  Replies (12) Good night (5023) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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  (703): he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh (1-703): be sure to add "office slut" to your resume http://tfl.nu/3kje
  Replies (10) Good night (4764) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.

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  (910): NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state. http://tfl.nu/dlad
  Replies (40) Good night (1011) Bad night (3360)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?

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  (314): Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences? http://tfl.nu/kgto
  Replies (8) Good night (1327) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.

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  (516): PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated. http://tfl.nu/z915
  Replies (4) Good night (1368) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.

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  (907): We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab. http://tfl.nu/cfiv
  Replies (7) Good night (1971) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets

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  (734): I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/shph
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?

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  (734): Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex? http://tfl.nu/vpmt
  Replies (7) Good night (1609) Bad night (331)

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