i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter