This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize