Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you need to get laid

  (906): View more from Michigan

  me?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months

  (906): View more from Michigan

  oh I thought you were talkin about me

  (906): View more from Michigan

  wait

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  (616): dude you need to get laid (906): me? (616): no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months (906): oh I thought you were talkin about me (906): wait http://tfl.nu/self
  Replies (10) Good night (1322) Bad night (2058)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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  (603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl
  Replies (17) Good night (4786) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...

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  (419): somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky... http://tfl.nu/anut
  Replies (22) Good night (2624) Bad night (3685)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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  (412): She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you http://tfl.nu/82k6
  Replies (6) Good night (4520) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.

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  (904): I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/bxd6
  Replies (20) Good night (3031) Bad night (1976)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

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  (917): Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree. http://tfl.nu/ljt4
  Replies (16) Good night (2948) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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  (720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4122) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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  (248): It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card. http://tfl.nu/7db5
  Replies (6) Good night (2873) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.

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  (707): Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/o39j
  Replies (6) Good night (1408) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.

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  (612): I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms. http://tfl.nu/079r
  Replies (31) Good night (2978) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.

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  (719): your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well. http://tfl.nu/esbu
  Replies (5) Good night (1083) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.

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  (619): I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers. http://tfl.nu/goy8
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"

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  (713): My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN" http://tfl.nu/ihut
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.

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  (310): Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite. http://tfl.nu/rdiv
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (301)

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