apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
