After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
