I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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