I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize