So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
