i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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