Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
