I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize