Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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