Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
