My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
