so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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