their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
