She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My feet surprised me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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