HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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