where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
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One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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