I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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