I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize