her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
