tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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