Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
