Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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