Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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