Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
PANTIES FOUND
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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