im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
