if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
