my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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