Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
