Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
