girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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