Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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