im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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