I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
