4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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