i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
