does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's shark week go big or go home
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
