So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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