So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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