He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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